Month: October 2007

A Crazy Life

A Crazy Life

I have a curious mind
that wishes to find
reasons that don’t exist

I have sleepy eyes
staring in disguise
at visions it can’t resist

I have a yearning heart
that is taken apart
by a tightly clenched fist

I have a dreamy soul
that’s out of control
meandering in the mist

I have a crazy life
blend of joy and strife
always awaiting a twist

© Manoj Khatri

Shun assumptions

Shun assumptions

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
~Henry Winkler

Prayer discussion
Assumptions are, as the word suggests, not necessarily facts. In fact, more often than not, they are only a figment of the assumer’s imagination. When we assume, we are trying to fill in the gap in our knowledge by guesswork. This means that when we assume, we are defining only ourselves.

In relationships, assumptions create misunderstandings and confusions, which in turn lead to needless squabbles. Too many assumptions can destroy a relationship. That is why Winkler refers to assumptions as “termites” of relationships.

We could do away with most conflicts in our relationships if only we could shun assumptions. To do so requires faith. I find it remarkable that all relationship issues seem to be solvable by faith. The answer is so simple. But, like Leonardo Da Vinci said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

Rebooting life

Rebooting life

Most software programs allow us to undo a deed (by clicking ctrl+z) if we change our mind. Since I work a lot on computers, I sometimes have tended to do the same in real life. I know of some others too who have had similar experiences. Too bad, there is no such option available in real life.

There’s another thing that windows-based computers allow. When a certain program stops responding, we use task manager to shut that program. But at times the culprit program is rather adamant and refuses to respond and even causes the entire system to stop responding. Nothing works. Then the option left to bring the system back on track is to press ctrl+alt+del to reboot the computer.

In life too we encounter such incidents. Some programs stop responding. No matter what we try, those aspects of our life simply don’t react. If only we could press ctrl+alt+del or, in other words, reboot life. Imagine how nice it would be. When something stops working, simply restart life, and everything gets solved. All programs start working again, as if nothing ever went wrong.

Vulnerability in love

Vulnerability in love

“Love is not love until love’s vulnerable.”
~Theodore Roethke

Prayer Discussion
Roethke is bang on target. I find this true. I sense it. I feel it. When I love, I am completely vulnerable. Willingly. But is vulnerability equal to weakness? A vehement NO! On the contrary vulnerability in love is a sign of courage. We can be willingly vulnerable only when we have faith. And faith is an act of absolute courage. Faith needs tremendous inner conviction. Even as I feel vulnerable and needy, the source of my courage is my love.

Blessed!

Blessed!

“Count your blessings” is a timeless adage that somehow never seems relevant until we go through a crisis. Right now, I feel immensely blessed.

My blessings have arrived in an assortment of odd shapes and sizes. Here are a few:

My mother is a rare blessing. I wonder how she can tolerate me and stand by me through my most difficult times. I sometimes take her rock-steady support for granted. She is “unconditional acceptance” personified. She has taught me how to love unconditionally. She’s taught me kindness. She has taught me to have faith in trying circumstances. In fact, I think I have inherited all my virtues from her. I feel so blessed to have such a mom.

Three more grand blessings of my life are my older siblings, who have never questioned me on my decisions, however much they disagreed with them. They respect me for my talents, encourage me to pursue my dreams and allow me the space to be my weird self. I feel so blessed to have such siblings.

My friends, so many of them, are also my treasured blessings — always ready to listen without prejudice and accept me with my human fallibilities. Sometimes, they even fight with me just so that they can stop me from making a mistake! I feel so blessed to have such friends.

My teachers, many of who I have never even met, are my most revered blessings: Wayne Dyer, Robert Fulghum, Michael Crichton, Linda Goodman, Paulo Coelho, Neale Donald Walsh, M Scott Peck, Hugh Prather, and so many more, whose writings have inspired me, guided me, and made me wiser through the years. I feel so blessed to have such teachers.

My victimisers (yes, you read that right) are also my valued blessings. Without those who caused me pain and suffering, I wouldn’t have learned anything, and my soul would not have got the opportunity to grow as much as it did. I am grateful to them for the difficulties they brought into my life. I feel so blessed to have such adversaries.

I call my colleagues — subordinates, peers and bosses, and my business associates — my the commercial blessings. They have taught me, mostly unknowingly, many a lesson in the area of work ethic. I feel so blessed to have such colleagues.

Then there are strangers and acquaintances, who, in their ordinary interactions with me, remind me of the universal blessing that I am always bestowed and protected with. I feel so blessed to be on this planet.

© Manoj Khatri

Trust and vulnerability

Trust and vulnerability

“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone — but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
~ Walter Anderson

Prayer discussion
Most people find it difficult to trust others. When it comes to trust, there are two basic philosophies:

1. Trust everyone until they prove they’re not trustworthy
2. Don’t trust anyone until they prove they’re trustworthy

IMO, the second way is not about trust. By definition, the moment you need reasons, then you are not trusting…you’re simply trying to hedge your risks. In contrast, genuine trust is an act of faith. Trusting means we are confident that the one we trust can do no wrong, because we’re sure of his/her intentions and integrity. This confidence is not a result of any past experience or other reasons but of an instinctive knowing that is not, usually, rational.

Trusting is the easiest when we love someone. This is because when we trust we know we are vulnerable. And in love we’re willing to be vulnerable. So the ability to take the risk of being hurt is the cornerstone of trust, and, as Anderson puts it, of love and joy.

But it is not trusting others that is the most difficult of challenges…it is trusting the self. We ought to love ourselves to be able to rely on our instincts and our intentions to guide us. We can then trust ourselves enough to be confident of our feelings and emotions.

Perception can be deadly

Perception can be deadly

My recent experience at my workplace corroborated what I have known all along: a seed, if it’s poisonous, should be weeded out as soon as we discover it. If we let it grow into a deep-rooted tree, the fruits will be poisonous too.

Perceptions too begin as seeds and, if not dealt with early enough, grow into deadly, poisonous trees that threaten to destroy the consumers of their fruits. The problem with perception is that it is just that—perception. It’s not necessarily reality. If it is possible to verify the accuracy of the perception—in others words, its closeness to reality—then it must be done as soon as possible, perhaps when it’s still just as tiny as a small seed. That’s because it’s easier to weed out a small seed than it is to uproot a full-grown tree. Besides, a poisonous tree is more likely to spread its kind, because each fruit would have several seeds, each capable of blossoming into a full-grown tree and so on.